Charlie and Alan go out drinking when a date is finally set for the wedding; they are horrified when they wake up to find a strange woman in their bed.
Show
Two and a Half Men
Charlie and Alan go out drinking when a date is finally set for the wedding; they are horrified when they wake up to find a strange woman in their bed.
Episodes
212 indexedAlan tries to escape Judith's clutches as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl.
Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair without spending much money.
Chelsea tries to help her beautiful college roommate get over a bad breakup.
When Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, Alan wonders if he ever needs to work again.
Judith is pregnant with a baby girl, and Alan is convinced he is the father; Jake is in a contentious mood, and Charlie thinks he knows why.
When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking.
Charlie has trouble adjusting when his new girlfriend asks him to spend the night at her place.
Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress, while Alan fights sexual tension with his receptionist.
Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.
When one of Charlie's old partners in crime dies, Charlie re-evaluates his own reckless lifestyle.
Charlie is left to cover when Jake disappears with the neighbor's daughter; Alan scores a hot date, thanks in part to Charlie's car.
Convinced that Alan is not appreciated by his family, Melissa asks him to live with her and her mother.
Alan reluctantly agrees to a makeover after running into his ex-wife and her new beau; when the brothers go shopping, they clash over what to buy.
Alan tries to find out what Lyndsey's boyfriend has over him; Walden helps Jenny pursue her acting career.
Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man (Chris O'Donnell).
Alan has a difficult time coping when Lyndsey breaks up with him.
Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jake's guardians in the event of his death.
Charlie doesn't know how to discipline Jake for luring a flock of seagulls into his room; Judith surprises Alan when he goes home to fix her sprinklers.
The housekeeper's beautiful granddaughter comes to work with her and attracts the attention of the men; Alan tries to convince Judith that Charlie's house is good for Jake.
A pregnancy scare has Charlie heading to the doctor for a vasectomy.
Walden parties with Jenny and her attractive friends; Alan's illicit affair with Lyndsey is jeopardized.
Walden dates an attractive 22-year-old (Hilary Duff), but ends up being more interested in her grandmother (Marilu Henner); Jake and Alan go on a trip.
After Evelyn's new beau dumps her, Charlie and Alan enlist Jake to cheer her up; Charlie teaches Jake a lesson about screening telephone calls from women.
One drink too many emboldens the brothers to stand up to their controlling mother.
After trying a father/son talk, Alan and Judith decide to take a moody Jake to a therapist (Jane Lynch).
Charlie realizes he's broke when his credit card is declined at the grocery store. Richard Lewis guest stars.
Judith's sister, Liz (guest star Teri Hatcher), hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party; Evelyn prefers alcohol to cake.
Jenny moves in with Evelyn and her wealthy boyfriend, Marty (Carl Reiner).
Alan offers to help get Charlie's cleaning lady back if Charlie can get Jake ready to go out to dinner with his mother.
For a school assignment, Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of Charlie's female friend.
Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's divorcee support-group into letting Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.
Alan wants to set up a date with Lynda Carter once he learns Walden knows her; Walden begrudgingly agrees to invite Lynda over for dinner.
In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa (Denise Richards) over for Thanksgiving dinner.
When Alan and Lyndsey's affair puts Walden in danger, he is forced to accept Rose's (Melanie Lynskey) help.
With encouragement from Walden, Alan decides to update his look; Alan is faced with a moral dilemma when he attracts a married woman.
Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking; Jake sees a therapist (Jane Lynch).
Charlie's 25-year-old daughter arrives at the beach house, hoping to get to know her family.
Charlie jeopardizes Alan's divorce settlement by sleeping with his attorney, Laura (Heather Locklear).
Walden goes on a date with an accident-prone model; Alan's date reveals surprising personal information.
Jake sends Alan a Japanese delicacy; the house comes alive with questionable Christmas lyrics.
Jake and Evelyn befriend one of Charlie's one-night stands, causing her to stay longer than expected.
Charlie's life turns upside down when his brother and nephew move in; at the supermarket, Charlie discovers he can use 10-year-old Jake to attract women.
Against Alan's judgment, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie. Guest star: Jenna Elfman.
Charlie sets his ailing brother up on a date, then drags him to a steam room to help him get rid of his flu symptoms.
Lyndsey's jealousy disrupts Walden's and Alan's dates with beautiful women.
Frankie tells Charlie and Alan why she and her daughter are on the run; Frankie's daughter has a crush on Jake.
Charlie and Alan meet several women while attending one of Jake's soccer games.
When Berta hurts her back at work, Alan and Walden think she should retire.
Charlie realizes Jake's classmates know the words to all of his jingles, and he is inspired to craft the fourth-grade musical with unusual results.
Walden worries that Louis' adoption will be impacted when Alan breaks up with their social worker in order to get back together with Lyndsey.
Alan has second thoughts about getting married after he's asked to sign a prenup.
Alan decides to break Walden's rules so he can keep up an appearance of being cool in front of Louis.
Lyndsey's boyfriend sets Alan up on a date; Walden wants to help Nicole with her project so she will have time to date him.
Marty Pepper (Carl Reiner) proposes to Evelyn; Alan and Walden plan a bachelor party for Marty.
Walden worries that ending things with Ms. McMartin will become an issue; Alan hesitates when Lyndsey asks him to move in with her.
Walden discovers how difficult it is to be with women with Louis in the house; Herb asks Alan if he can take Lyndsey on a date.
Alan asks Lyndsey to choose between him and Larry; Jenny worries that she and Brooke are growing apart.
Gretchen insists that Alan reveal his true identity to Larry; Walden, Barry and Jenny go on a road trip.
When their divorce becomes official, Walden offers Alan a gift; Alan's impractical choice strains his relationship with Lyndsey.
Alan and Walden are determined to convince Louis that Santa Claus is real.
When Walden joins a support group for adoptive fathers, he discovers that it is a nice getaway from Alan.
Alan and Walden must be perceived as a loving couple during a meeting with an adoption social worker; Lyndsey returns from rehab.
After the social worker discovers that Alan and Walden are not really a gay couple, Alan tries to help Walden keep Louis.
Walden thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him; Alan starts dating Larry's sister, Gretchen (Kimberly Williams-Paisley).
After reconnecting with Kate, Walden becomes convinced she is the one for him -- until he meets a woman named Vivian (Mila Kunis).
Alan finds an opportunity to make money; Walden addresses his co-dependency issues.
Details regarding Charlie Harper are revealed.
Details regarding Charlie Harper are revealed.
Alan must face the consequences after revealing his identity to Larry.
Walden takes in a foster child named Louis but wonders if he made the right decision when they don't bond as he expected.
Walden and Alan befriend three mothers, but things get complicated when Walden becomes attracted to one of them; Alan joins a group of moms on a girls night.
Walden teams up with a beautiful former employee (Odette Annable) on a new project; Alan gives Jenny advice about her girlfriend (Aly Michalka).
After a health scare on Halloween, Walden decides he needs to change his life -- but needs Alan's help to do it.
A birth mother considers having Walden and Alan adopt her baby.
Alan finds out that Lyndsey broke up with Larry without telling him; Walden tries to prove he is a man's man.
Lyndsey finds out about Alan's relationship with Gretchen; Walden has a difficult time telling Barry to find his own place.
Walden's ex-girlfriend invites him to her boutique opening; Gretchen hopes to spend more time at Alan's home.
Alan learns that Charlie belongs to an exclusive men's group, and he begs his brother to let him join.
Judith is dating Jake's pediatrician (Ryan Stiles), and Alan is upset until Charlie points out that if she remarries, his alimony payments will end.
Charlie likes dating Isabella (Jodi Lyn O'Keefe), a wild, sexually uninhibited woman, until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.
Charlie responds inappropriately to a woman's declaration of love, and Rose says his inability to have a long-lasting relationship is due to unresolved issues with his mother.
Berta moves into Charlie's house for a few days and plays one brother against the other.
Charlie sleeps with Kandi's mother, as Alan tries to win her daughter back; Kandi arranges a date between her father and Judith.
Alan finds that he has more in common with Jake's teacher than with Kandi; Charlie helps Jake prepare a song for his audition for the school musical.
After their split, Alan wants to gain custody of his and Kandi's dog.
Charlie's former girlfriend (Emmanuelle Vaugier) returns with an unexpected request.
Charlie and Alan help Jake prepare for his first boy-girl party.
Charlie and Mia plan their wedding despite complications on both sides of the family.
Charlie is convinced he saw his late father while having a near-death experience.
Charlie tells Alan the truth about his breakup with Mia; a famous neighbor (Steven Tyler) causes trouble.
Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle; Alan breaks down following his second divorce.
Charlie loses a woman to the young, handsome handyman (guest star Enrique Iglesias) working at his house.
Although Charlie is getting closer to Linda, he begins to see Rose's face wherever he looks.
Charlie lets Alan set him up with a woman his own age.
Charlie's girlfriend is embarrassed to be seen with him; Jake sneaks out to go to a concert.
Alan's famous ex-wife, Kandi, wants to reconcile; when Berta isn't interested in celebrating her birthday, Walden tries to make her day special.
Charlie and Alan try to prepare Jake for his first day of junior high.
Charlie behaves strangely after an evening with his mother; Alan's date (Janeane Garofalo) reacts oddly after making love.
Jake has a windfall when Charlie takes him to the track; Alan finds himself stuck at the Department of Motor Vehicles.
Alan helps Walden create a new identity so he can avoid women who are only interested in his money.
Charlie and Alan butt heads over Alan's place in the house, prompting Alan and Jake to move in with Evelyn.
Charlie and Alan must confront their ``daddy issues`` when Evelyn's new boyfriend (Robert Wagner) invites them to Las Vegas on his private jet.
Charlie has to entertain his girlfriend's 4-year-old son; Alan becomes a human guinea pig.
The guys run into Jake's former teacher (Alicia Witt) who became a stripper after a fling with Charlie; Charlie gives her a room and a job to try and help her out, but things get out of control.
Rose comes back from England and takes care of sick Charlie in a very strange way.
Charlie attempts to cook, Alan tries to date two women at the same time, and Jake samples beer.
A CSI team investigates a mysterious death at Charlie's house.
Walden juggles his two identities; Alan ends up alone on Christmas.
Alan and Walden go to Kate's fashion show in New York, so Walden can reveal the truth about his identity.
Charlie discovers he is attracted to an older woman who writes self-help books; Jake and Alan fight over a school assignment.
Charlie finds success as a children's singing star, which makes Alan miserable.
Alan seeks revenge when he discovers that Charlie stole his high-school girlfriend.
Alan plans Evelyn's wedding; Charlie pursues his future stepsister.
Charlie offers Alan pointers on how to break up with a woman.
Alan crosses a line when he tries to get back money that he lent Charlie.
Alan fears that Charlie's womanizing is getting out of control.
Alan is faced with relationship trouble when he does not give Lyndsey a key to the beach house; Walden, Alan, Herb and Billy commiserate about relationships.
Charlie finds that one of his former girlfriends has a son who looks a lot like him.
Alan awaits disaster as Charlie romances Alan's sweet receptionist.
Alan's date, who happens to be a friend of his ex, reveals a secret about Judith's sex life.
After Evelyn and Teddy become engaged, Charlie struggles to fight his attraction to Teddy's daughter, Courtney, Charlie's soon-to-be stepsister.
Charlie tries to resist temptation when he meets the daughter of the woman he's dating and realizes they've met before.
Alan invests Walden's money in Kate's fashion line; leading a double life takes its toll on Walden.
Charlie goes on a double date with Jake and sets Alan up with a prostitute; Charlie runs into trouble when he can't remember his date's name.
Charlie must decide between his fiancée, Chelsea, and his former girlfriend, Mia.
Chelsea sets Alan up on a blind date with Rose.
Depressed on Valentine's Day, Walden tries to talk Kate into giving him another chance; Alan's holiday plans go south.
When Charlie finds out that Mia is back in town, he begins to question his relationship with Chelsea; Judith is rushed to the hospital.
Walden and Alan are caught in the crossfire when Jake cheats on his girlfriend (Jaime Pressly) with her 18-year-old daughter.
Alan and Walden end up partying too hard as they try to cheer up Herb.
A bar fight lands Alan in jail; Charlie worries that Chelsea is interested in the lawyer who takes Alan's case.
Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend; Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith.
After they embarrass him in public, Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan.
Alan suggests that Chelsea get breast-reduction surgery, and Charlie kicks him out.
When Chelsea and Alan become best friends, Charlie tries to take advantage of the situation.
Evelyn finally meets Charlie and Chelsea.
In an attempt to prove he has changed from his old self, Charlie agrees to go with Chelsea to couples counseling.
Alan takes a job working for Evelyn; Charlie must mend Chelsea and Jake's rocky relationship.
Alan cares for Judith's baby and her tipsy mother; Jake uses an incriminating picture to blackmail Charlie.
Charlie fights the overwhelming urge to flee when Chelsea gets sick, and he is forced to take care of her.
When Jake brings his 36-year-old girlfriend home for a visit, Alan is concerned; Walden tries to hide something from Alan.
Charlie rushes to get a half-naked woman out of his bedroom before Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor) arrives.
Alan finds there is not much room for him left in the house when Charlie reluctantly lets Chelsea move in.
After a fight with Walden, Alan decides to move in with Herb.
When Charlie swears his love to Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor), her response is nothing like what he'd expected.
Chelsea finds pictures of a naked woman on Charlie's phone.
When Walden runs into his ex and they start talking about getting back together, Alan worries that she is not good enough.
Charlie attempts to guide Jake down the path of infidelity while his girlfriend is away for the holidays.
Charlie regrets allowing Alan's girlfriend to move in when the bachelor pad is suddenly overrun by women.
Charlie undergoes a colonoscopy to avoid a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents, but he finds them in his living room when he returns home.
Berta learns that Alan has been dating her daughter.
Charlie and Alan go on a double date, leaving Jake home alone for the first time.
Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper; Alan looks to sell Kandi's condo, but sex keeps getting in the way.
Charlie prepares for Christmas Eve alone with his date; he finds himself throwing an unwanted, unplanned holiday party; Evelyn tries to keep Charlie from sleeping with his party date.
Alan prepares Jake for Judith's wedding; Charlie continues his fling with Herb's sister.
When Jake tells Charlie and Alan that he often overhears Judith and Herb making out, it triggers a repressed memory for Charlie.
Evelyn makes Charlie and Alan regret saying that she will not have any mourners at her funeral.
After realizing that Jake's childhood is almost over, Alan makes a last-minute try at father-son bonding; Kandi embarks on a new career.
Charlie must face his feelings when Rose announces she is moving to London; Alan fudges his online dating profile, only to wind up with a fellow profile-embellisher.
Charlie gets close to Herb's witty sister, as Judith and Herb's wedding nears.
Charlie has second thoughts after setting Alan up with their new neighbor (guest star Brooke Shields).
A more mature woman helps rebuild Charlie's ego after he becomes insecure about his age.
Alan's friendship with a gay single dad prompts both Alan and Charlie to re-examine their sexual identities.
Herb and Jake's relationship threatens wedding plans with Judith; Alan and Charlie take action to try to help Herb and Jake bond.
Kandi moves in with Alan, causing tension in the house, since Charlie is having a dry spell with women.
Walden must choose between Zoey and Rose.
Walden ignores Alan's warnings and starts dating Rose (Melanie Lynskey).
Walden tells Zoey that he will be going into business with his ex-wife (Judy Greer); Lyndsey and Alan grapple with their mothers' new relationship.
Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers; Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party.
Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension by romancing his teacher, but the results are unfortunate.
Charlie and Alan hire Berta's sister (Camryn Manheim) to cater a party their mother has conned them into throwing for her.
Alan's homely high-school friend (Paget Brewster) returns as a beautiful woman, and the brothers quickly begin competing for her attentions.
When Walden gets tired of the complications that come with a traditional relationship, he hires an actress to be his girlfriend; Jake plans a rendezvous with Missi (Miley Cyrus) at the beach house.
Charlie meets his match when he falls for a woman who is better at playing hard to get than he is.
Alan gets a taste of what Charlie's sex life is like when he meets a woman at the grocery store who fulfills his every fantasy.
Charlie's mother, Evelyn, asks to borrow his Mercedes so she can impress a Saudi prince who she wants to buy real estate.
Jake discovers an angry Web site devoted to Charlie's womanizing ways.
Alan feels reluctant to make a commitment to Lyndsey, but an unexpected source inspires him; Walden enjoys being the boy-toy of a wealthy older woman.
Alan denies having shoplifted a toy as a child and fears he has a dark side, until Charlie admits he planted the toy on Alan to stay out of trouble himself.
Charlie is tasked with writing a theme song to one of Jake's favorite comics; things heat up between Alan and Rose.
Evelyn takes drastic measures to get back into her sons' lives after Alan cuts her off.
When Judith's pipes burst after an earthquake, Alan invites her to stay with him at Charlie's house.
Alan takes Charlie's suggestion of a jog on the beach to cure his insomnia; Jake pleads with Charlie not to date the mother of a girl he likes.
Alan pretends to be Charlie when he goes out on the town; Charlie sneaks off for cosmetic surgery.
Charlie has difficulty dealing with dating a slightly older woman.
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