The Bernie Mac Show

Vanessa fails to invite Bernie to a father-daughter dance, and it drives him crazy.

Car-pool complications wreck Bernie; a boy in the car pool starts blackmailing Jordan to be his friend.

Bernie makes a midnight run to retrieve Bryana's lost doll. Ice Cube guest stars as himself.

After hearing it from Bernie at home, Bryana repeats inappropriate language at school, prompting a social worker to visit the house to discuss Bernie's hostility problems.

Bernie creates a public relations disaster while facing off with Matt Damon and Lucy Lawless in a charity golf tournament.

After breaking up with his girlfriend, poker buddy Kelly moves into the Mac household and infringes on Bernie's paternal authority.

Bernie becomes a stern taskmaster after witnessing the children's behavior at dinner, cracking down on Vanessa for her grades and making Bryana speak Spanish all the time.

The kids go on strike for wages after Bernie tries to make them clean up their mess, so he hires neighborhood kids as scabs.

Exhausted Bernie begs Wanda to cancel dinner plans with another couple, but free Clippers tickets prompt him and Jordan to fake an emergency so they can get out of the house.

Bernie grows uncomfortable with the level of sexuality that is becoming part of his children's lives.

Bernie takes the entire family to Chicago for the funeral of a beloved uncle, but his cousin's (Don Cheadle) scheming mars the trip.

Gluttonous Bernie has a fever dream after devouring his own personal turkey.

Jordan brings home a snake named Reggie, and sister Bryanna demands a pet, too.

Bryana is upset when Bernie takes a villainous role opposite her favorite character, a friendly dinosaur; Jordan sells candy bars at school.

Jordan tries out for the basketball team, but the coach decides he is better suited for gymnastics as a ribbon dancer.

Relatives pester Bernie at a family barbecue; Bernie quashes Vanessa's flirtation with a distant cousin.

Bernie bribes kids to attend Jordan's birthday bash instead of another kid's party that is slated for the same day.

Bernie takes Jordan to his favorite barbershop, but the owner throws them out; Wanda and the girls try to change the batteries in a smoke detector.

Wanda disrupts Bernie's writing process as he prepares for an appearance on ``The Ellen DeGeneres Show.``

Bernie tries to scare away Vanessa's new boyfriend but realizes what a good role model he is for Jordan; Wanda has trouble letting go of her old shoes.

When a litigious neighbor asks Bernie to tear down the treehouse he built for Jordan, it leads to an all-night standoff.

Wanda's parents take over the household during their visit.

When the children become obsessed with gifts, Bernie decides to cancel Christmas altogether; Wanda loses the Christmas spirit when she tries to get everyone on her staff a gift.

Bernie's sister wants to help raise her niece and nephew but squabbles with her brother over parenting methods.

Bernie must baby-sit for Bryana and deal with Jordan, who was sent home from school for pulling a fire alarm unnecessarily.

Bernie resorts to spying when he decides Vanessa is being secretive about her activities, but his security cameras pick up more than he bargained for.

Curtis offers to help fix Vanessa's new car, but Bernie thinks he has an ulterior motive.

After several failed attempts, Bernie and Wanda realize that making a baby is harder than they thought, and Wanda begins to question their fertility.

When a man arrives from Chicago claiming to be Bryana's father, Bernie is cautiously supportive.

Wanda learns about Bernie's secret discipline-keeping device; its power corrupts her.

Wanda invites Tasha, Vanessa's best friend from Chicago, to stay with them; Bernie is worried he will have another difficult teen in his house.

On Bernie's 40th birthday, he is electrically shocked by an old lady and forced to be a clown at a children's party.

When Jordan develops a crush on a girl at school, Bernie takes it upon himself to teach Jordan how to be a ``player`` and get the girl.

Wanda urges Vanessa to join an enrichment organization she once belonged to; they learn times have changed when Vanessa and her new friends are charged with shoplifting.

Bernie has no patience when trying to teach Vanessa to drive.

Bernie learns Vanessa has a boyfriend, Rahim, who is 18 years old; when he discovers that the teen has a child, he hits the ceiling.

When Bernie agrees to participate in a celebrity marathon, Vanessa declares that she will finish the race ahead of him.

Bernie realizes Bryana and Jordan are too old to share a room, so he moves her in with Vanessa, who is less than thrilled.

Bryana's standardized test scores prompt Bernie to send her to Jordan's school, but she is so far behind that they threaten to move her back a grade.

While baby-sitting Bryana, Jordan watches a horror movie and scares himself into believing that zombies are trying to kill him and Bryana.

Bernie realizes his punishment system is no longer effective, so he puts the kids into a total lockdown.

In an effort to bring family members closer, Wanda insists they participate in the annual parish retreat.

When Bernie and Wanda find themselves spending all of their time with the kids, Bernie decides they need some time alone.

Wanda's sister visits and wants to throw a roller-disco party for Wanda's birthday.

Bernie decides Bryana is too old for training wheels, but her first lesson without them proves to be disastrous.

Jordan tries to fit in with the popular crowd; after taking Bernie's advice, he winds up losing his lunch money in a poker game.

Bernie has to put his foot down after Mr. Diggs, Vanessa's teacher, persuades her to become a vegetarian.

When Bernie gives Vanessa money for school clothes, she decides to spend it all on an expensive pair of shoes.

Jordan's prank anonymous phone calls have surprising consequences.

When Vanessa surprises everyone with her musical talent, Isaac Hayes offers Bernie advice on how to nurture it.

Bernie sees children walking to school on their own and decides it is time for Jordan to do the same, despite Wanda's objections.

Bernie's sister, Benita, announces her plans to elope in Las Vegas; Wanda offers her the Mac residence as a wedding site.

When Jordan joins the wrestling team, he overeats and finds himself in a weight class in which he is outmatched.

Vanessa tries to increase her chances of being accepted into a college by joining the drill team, which pleases Bernie until he sees one of the squad's provocative routines.

Bernie is sued for being a negligent parent after a birthday bash for Bryana results in broken bones.

Bernie pushes Jordan to hang out with the new kid next door to expand his cultural horizons.

The kids' carelessness causes Bernie to have a near-death experience.

A motorcycle accident changes Bernie's perspective about protecting the kids; Jordan is caught trying to sell Bernie's girlie magazines to other boys at school.

Bernie and Jordan join a fantasy football league together, but differing philosophies on player picks soon come between them as Jordan eventually leaves Bernie to get a higher ranking.

Bernie and Wanda seek a child therapist's help in figuring out why Bryana has become a bully; Wanda winds up caring for a guinea pig Bernie bought for Bryana.

Bernie makes Vanessa prove she can manage her money.

Bernie volunteers as a teacher's helper to assess the teaching methods used at Bryana's school; Wanda is at wits' end trying to reason with Vanessa and Jordan.

Jordan tries comedy as a way of overcoming stage fright; Vanessa makes a documentary about her home life.

Bernie turns to Angela Bassett for acting advice when he lands a dramatic role as a stroke victim; Jordan leads a revolt at a day care facility; Vanessa pretends to be poor.

Neighbor Carl Reiner (guest starring as himself) plays the ultimate practical joke on Bernie. Ashton Kutcher guest stars as himself.

Despite Bernie's offer to buy him a car, Wanda's father cannot get along with him; showing when they all met.

Jordan dates a good-looking cheerleader, surprising everyone.

When Bryana's father, Bryan, visits, he threatens Bernie's relationship with Jordan and undermines Bernie's barbecuing techniques.

Bernie realizes he may have been too truthful when telling Jordan about his father; he amends the truth to make Jordan think well of his father.

``American Idol`` judges Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson critique Bernie's commercial.

The family goes to San Diego for a relaxing vacation; Bernie, unable to relax, goes to Las Vegas for some gambling and debauchery.

Bernie stops by the Playboy Mansion to get advice from Hugh Hefner on how to talk to Jordan about sex.

Bernie coaches Vanessa's prom date on how to win her heart.

Dr. Phil McGraw counsels Bernie on how to deal with Wanda, who feels left out after Bernie and the guys draft a woman (Mo'Nique) into their group.

Bryan moves in and strives to be a perfect housekeeper when Wanda leaves on a business trip; Girls at school tease Bryana about her flat chest.

Bernie frets that he'll catch a debilitating bug from one of the pint-sized revelers at Bryana's birthday party.

Bernie and his wife take in his sister's children. This episode: Bernie has old-fashioned notions about child rearing.

Bernie learns the kids are staying long-term and sets ground rules.

After taking the children to church, Bernie tries to slip out during the sermon to catch a football game on the tube.

a:6:{s:4:"desc";s:84:"QmVybmllIG9mZmVuZHMgV2FuZGEncyBib3NzIChXZXNsZXkgU25pcGVzKSBhdCBhIGRpbm5lciBwYXJ0eS4=";s:4:"date";s:8:"20030205";s:8:"category";s:13:"Sitcom,Series";s:11:"star_rating";s:0:"";s:6:"rating";s:12:"VCHIP-TV-PG,";s:6:"length";s:0:"";}

a:6:{s:4:"desc";s:172:"QmVybmllJ3Mga2lkcyBhbGwgd2FudCBzb21ldGhpbmcgZnJvbSBoaW0sIGJ1dCBoZSBtYW5hZ2VzIHRvIHN0YXkgb25lIHN0ZXAgYWhlYWQgb2YgdGhlbSBieSBhZGhlcmluZyB0byB0aGUgcHJpbmNpcGxlcyBvZiBjaGVzcy4=";s:4:"date";s:8:"20030409";s:8:"category";s:13:"Sitcom,Series";s:11:"star_rating";s:0:"";s:6:"rating";s:12:"VCHIP-TV-PG,";s:6:"length";s:0:"";}

a:6:{s:4:"desc";s:140:"Sm9yZGFuIHRyaWVzIGNvbWVkeSBhcyBhIHdheSBvZiBvdmVyY29taW5nIHN0YWdlIGZyaWdodDsgVmFuZXNzYSBtYWtlcyBhIGRvY3VtZW50YXJ5IGFib3V0IGhlciBob21lIGxpZmUu";s:4:"date";s:8:"20040222";s:8:"category";s:13:"Sitcom,Series";s:11:"star_rating";s:0:"";s:6:"rating";s:12:"VCHIP-TV-PG,";s:6:"length";s:0:"";}

a:6:{s:4:"desc";s:212:"QmVybmllIGRlbGF5cyBoaXMgTGFzIFZlZ2FzIGZsaWdodCB0byB0YWtlIHRoZSBjaGlsZHJlbiB0byB0aGUgbW92aWVzIGFzIHByb21pc2VkOyBCcnlhbm5hIGFuZCBKb3JkYW4gc25lYWsgb3V0IG9mIGEgRy1yYXRlZCBtb3ZpZSB0byB3YXRjaCBtb3JlLWV4Y2l0aW5nIGZhcmUu";s:4:"date";s:8:"20030312";s:8:"category";s:13:"Sitcom,Series";s:11:"star_rating";s:0:"";s:6:"rating";s:12:"VCHIP-TV-PG,";s:6:"length";s:0:"";}

a:6:{s:4:"desc";s:96:"Sm9yZGFuIGxlYXJucyBzb21lIG1hZ2ljIHRyaWNrcyBhbmQgdXNlcyB0aGVtIHRvIGNoYXJtIGhpcyBmaXJzdCBjcnVzaC4=";s:4:"date";s:8:"20030212";s:8:"category";s:13:"Sitcom,Series";s:11:"star_rating";s:0:"";s:6:"rating";s:12:"VCHIP-TV-PG,";s:6:"length";s:0:"";}

a:6:{s:4:"desc";s:136:"QmVybmllIHVyZ2VzIHRoZSBuZXcgbWFpZCAoZ3Vlc3Qgc3RhciBUaGVyZXNhIFNhbGRhbmEpIHRvIHRyZWF0IHRoZSBjaGlsZHJlbiBhcyBpZiB0aGV5IHdlcmUgaGVyIG93bi4=";s:4:"date";s:8:"20030423";s:8:"category";s:13:"Sitcom,Series";s:11:"star_rating";s:0:"";s:6:"rating";s:12:"VCHIP-TV-PG,";s:6:"length";s:0:"";}

a:6:{s:4:"desc";s:132:"QmVybmllIGVucm9sbHMgdGhlIGNoaWxkcmVuIGluIGEgbXlyaWFkIG9mIGFjdGl2aXRpZXMsIHRoZW4gZGlzY292ZXJzIGhpcyBTYXR1cmRheXMgYXJlIGF0IHN0YWtlLg==";s:4:"date";s:8:"20030430";s:8:"category";s:13:"Sitcom,Series";s:11:"star_rating";s:0:"";s:6:"rating";s:12:"VCHIP-TV-PG,";s:6:"length";s:0:"";}

a:6:{s:4:"desc";s:88:"QmVybmllIGNhbGxzIG9uIEluZGlhLkFyaWUgdG8gaGVscCBvdXQgd2l0aCBWYW5lc3NhJ3MgdGFsZW50IHNob3cu";s:4:"date";s:8:"20030226";s:8:"category";s:13:"Sitcom,Series";s:11:"star_rating";s:0:"";s:6:"rating";s:12:"VCHIP-TV-PG,";s:6:"length";s:0:"";}

a:6:{s:4:"desc";s:136:"QmVybmllIHN0YXJ0cyBidXlpbmcgZXZlcnl0aGluZyBpbiBidWxrLCBpbmNsdWRpbmcganVuayBmb29kOyBXYW5kYSBsb2NrcyB1cCB0aGUganVuayBmb29kIGluIGEgc2hlZC4=";s:4:"date";s:8:"20030416";s:8:"category";s:13:"Sitcom,Series";s:11:"star_rating";s:0:"";s:6:"rating";s:12:"VCHIP-TV-PG,";s:6:"length";s:0:"";}

a:6:{s:4:"desc";s:144:"QmVybmllIGNpcmN1bXZlbnRzIGhpcyBsb3ctY2hvbGVzdGVyb2wgZGlldCBieSBzbmVha2luZyBvdmVyIHRvIGEgbmVpZ2hib3IncyAoZ3Vlc3Qgc3RhciBEb24gUmlja2xlcykgcGxhY2Uu";s:4:"date";s:8:"20021211";s:8:"category";s:13:"Sitcom,Series";s:11:"star_rating";s:0:"";s:6:"rating";s:12:"VCHIP-TV-PG,";s:6:"length";s:0:"";}

a:6:{s:4:"desc";s:184:"VGhlIHBvb2wgaXMgYmVpbmcgZHJhaW5lZCBhbmQgdGhlIGFpciBjb25kaXRpb25lciBpcyBicm9rZW4sIHNvIEJlcm5pZSB0YWtlcyB0aGUgY2hpbGRyZW4gdG8gYSB3YXRlciBwYXJrIG9uIHRoZSBob3R0ZXN0IGRheSBvZiB0aGUgeWVhci4=";s:4:"date";s:8:"20020116";s:8:"category";s:13:"Sitcom,Series";s:11:"star_rating";s:0:"";s:6:"rating";s:12:"VCHIP-TV-PG,";s:6:"length";s:0:"";}

a:6:{s:4:"desc";s:92:"V2FuZGEgZ2V0cyBhIHdlZWsgb2YgdmFjYXRpb24gYW5kIGRlY2lkZXMgdG8gc3BlbmQgaXQgd2l0aCB0aGUga2lkcy4=";s:4:"date";s:8:"20020123";s:8:"category";s:13:"Sitcom,Series";s:11:"star_rating";s:0:"";s:6:"rating";s:12:"VCHIP-TV-PG,";s:6:"length";s:0:"";}

a:6:{s:4:"desc";s:156:"V2hlbiBoZWFydGJ1cm4gc2VuZHMgaGltIHRvIHRoZSBlbWVyZ2VuY3kgcm9vbSwgQmVybmllIHJlc29sdmVzIHRvIGJlYXQgaGlzIGFnZSBieSBhY3RpbmcgbGlrZSBoZSBkaWQgaW4gaGlzIHlvdXRoLg==";s:4:"date";s:8:"20020220";s:8:"category";s:13:"Sitcom,Series";s:11:"star_rating";s:0:"";s:6:"rating";s:12:"VCHIP-TV-PG,";s:6:"length";s:0:"";}

a:6:{s:4:"desc";s:152:"QmVybmllJ3Mgd2Vla2xvbmcgc3RpbnQgb24gYSBsb2NhbCByYWRpbyBzaG93IGxlYXZlcyBoaXMgZmFtaWx5IHVwc2V0IHdoZW4gaGUgdXNlcyBoaXMgcHJpdmF0ZSBsaWZlIHRvIGdldCBsYXVnaHMu";s:4:"date";s:8:"20020213";s:8:"category";s:13:"Sitcom,Series";s:11:"star_rating";s:0:"";s:6:"rating";s:12:"VCHIP-TV-PG,";s:6:"length";s:0:"";}