According to Jim

Raging Jim accidentally backs into a police car while chasing a guy and chooses anger-management classes instead of paying the fine.

Cheryl brags to her cousin that she is the lead singer in Jim's band.

Dana falls for the Rev. Pierson (guest star Chris Elliott) after he sets her up with a promising job lead.

Jim takes over housekeeping duties to give Cheryl time to grieve when her favorite uncle dies, but begins to suspect Cheryl is faking her grief to get him to do more housework.

Jim must pay for an expensive operation to keep the family's pet guinea pig alive.

Jim and Cheryl try to celebrate their 15th anniversary in an Indiana motel but must drive back to Chicago when Dana thinks she is in labor.

Gracie's recent misbehavior makes Jim think she is lying about a friend giving her a new video game.

Jim's sister (Jennifer Coolidge) shows up on his doorstep -- pregnant.

Jim tries to convince his friend Danny (Dan Aykroyd) not to back out on his wedding plans with Laraine (Laraine Newman).

As a talk-show guest, Jim angers Cheryl by expressing the view that men should not let women feminize them.

Jim agrees to go to a couples seminar, hoping Cheryl will reciprocate by letting him go on a fishing trip with Andy.

Jim teaches Kyle to throw the perfect punch to defend himself against the school bully, but Kyle gets suspended for repeatedly hitting the other child.

When Cheryl decides to remodel the bathroom, Jim insists that it include a stainless-steel toilet that talks.

Jim is unable to transport the girls' papier-mache grizzly bear to school because he lost his truck in an arm-wrestling match and refuses to ask for it back.

Cheryl asks Jim to put the kids' artwork in storage, but he disposes of it elsewhere, thinking Cheryl will not notice.

Dana's boss replaces Jim with a handsome actor (Ingo Rademacher) in a commercial starring Cheryl and the children.

Jim takes umbrage at being replaced as the father in a promotional shoot for a cruise line. Ingo Rademacher guest stars.

Andy resents a wealthy client (Nana Visitor), then ends up dating her.

Cheryl claims to like men who aren't afraid to cry, but when Jim bursts into tears after a movie, she is surprised to find herself turned off by his sensitivity.

Cheryl wants Jim to give up all his vices so they can try to have a baby.

Jim chickens out of having a vasectomy, but Cheryl is so effusive in her praise that he is unable to admit that he did not go through with it.

Jim finds Cheryl a gay friend that she can attend musicals with, so he can escape having to go himself.

Jim, Ryan and Andy learn that Cheryl and Dana have appeared in a ``Chicks Gone Wild`` video.

Coach Jim turns his daughters' noncompetitive basketball team into tough, aggressive winners.

While Dana is in premature labor, Ryan is in a war-torn country, delivering a celebrity's baby.

When Tim and Cindy Devlin crash Gracie's birthday party, they announce that they are getting divorced.

Dana and Cheryl hesitantly entrust Ryan and Jim to watch the kids and baby Tanner while they have a girls night out.

Jim is concerned that Kyle is going to grow up to be effeminate when he insists on wearing a Cinderella costume for Halloween.

Jim develops a friendship with Dana's new boyfriend, despite the fact that the guy dumped Cheryl years ago.

Jim is hurt when Ruby invites Andy to the father-daughter dance instead of him.

Jim does not tell Cheryl that their health insurance has been canceled after he has an argument with a claims representative.

God gives Jim the power to reinvent women; Andy asks God to make men more like women.

Jim tries to sabotage the surprise 50th birthday party Cheryl plans for him.

Jim buys a nanny-cam to spy on the sitter he did not want to hire but learns something about Cheryl instead, prompting her to buy a camera of her own.

Cheryl's mother has plans for the afterlife that would put everyone in a large family plot she reserved years ago, but Jim insists on his own family plot, conveniently located next to that of a star football player.

Cheryl's doctor puts sex off-limits until the time is right for conception; Jim eats crow to win a huge account from a blowhard potential client (Tom Arnold).

Dana and baby Tanner stay with Jim and Cheryl for a night, but the baby's crying makes it impossible for Jim to sleep.

When Jim gets into an accident with a department store Santa, an altercation ensues that leaves his on-looking kids fearing Santa will not bring them any gifts.

Jim, a superstitious sports fan, comes to believe that his former neighbors, the Devlins, bring good luck to the Bulls.

The Ghost of Andy gives Jim a glimpse of Kyle's future as a loser because of Jim's failed attempts to help his son during a softball game.

Cheryl surprises Jim with a romantic evening, but it cuts into his planned TV boxing match.

Cheryl and Dana are forced to smash their way out of a locked garage because they ignored Jim's lesson on how to open the door from the inside.

Jim offers to give Andy an old barbecue grill, then decides Andy should pay for it.

Andy's attempt to sell a grill that Jim gave him a few years ago results in a wildly destructive tug-of-war between the two.

Jim tries to cheer up Cheryl by forging suggestive notes from the handsome water delivery man.

Jim becomes the prey of a 40-pound psychotic turkey named Angry Pete during a Thanksgiving hunt with Andy.

To make Cheryl feel desirable, Jim fakes a jealous rage in a restaurant and tries to teach Dana's date to do the same, but the lesson backfires when Dana fears her new beau is paranoid and possessive.

Cheryl protests when a heat wave sends the family sneaking into a vacationing neighbor's pool - until she starts sneaking over on her own.

Andy's new metal detector uncovers Jim's long lost wedding ring, causing a problem for Jim, who's been hiding the fact that he lost it for years.

Jim struggles to care for the kids and household while Cheryl is away, but several sympathetic neighborhood moms lend him a hand.

While Cheryl is still in Florida, Jim donates all of the kids' old furniture and clothes to charity to clear the garage for a cigar lounge; Cheryl calls Jim with a special announcement.

When Cheryl cooks for Dana and her boyfriend, she lets him believe that Dana actually did the cooking.

Jim is shocked to learn that his recently deceased friend will be buried with a rare baseball card he stole from Jim.

Jim reads Ruby and Gracie's diaries to find out why they can't seem to stop fighting, and realizes that his daughters need some delicate motherly advice.

Jim asks Dana for help while Cheryl is away; Jim and Dana follow Ruby on her date with an older boy.

Taking an interest in health and safety, Cheryl sets new rules that cause Jim to feel stifled.

When Andy decides to learn how to dance for his sister's wedding, he turns to Jim -- a closet dancer -- for lessons.

Jim is dismayed when he has to drive Gracie to spelling bee tournaments all over the state.

In order to avoid going to an opera with Cheryl, Jim asks an elderly widower to be her escort.

An attractive woman's suggestion leads Jim to grow a mustache, much to the dismay of Cheryl, who retaliates by coloring her hair.

Cheryl and Jim's evening alone turns into an all-out food fight; Andy plots revenge on Jim for coaxing his children to play pranks on him.

Jim and Cheryl attempt to plan for some romantic time alone, but when the kids demand all of her attention, Jim plans to meet Cheryl for a tryst in the airport lounge.

Cheryl offers to let Dana wear her wedding dress, unaware that the gown was destroyed in a fiery sports celebration years earlier.

Jim advises Ryan (Mitch Rouse) on how to deal with fluctuating hormones when he announces that Dana is expecting.

Jim suspects that the father (Joseph Bologna) of one of Ruby and Gracie's classmates is his own real father, who abandoned him as a child.

Cheryl thinks she is attending a lingerie party given by Andy's new girlfriend, then learns the hostess is selling sex toys.

To teach Jim the value of communication, Cheryl does not speak to him for three days.

Andy starts to play chess with Ryan on a regular basis, and jealous Jim assumes Andy is no longer his best friend.

Cheryl urges Jim to meet an old girlfriend (Linda Hamilton) for lunch, but has second thoughts when she becomes convinced the woman has romantic intentions.

Cheryl and Jim get into an argument about Erik Estrada, and Jim sets out to prove her wrong about an incident involving the actor 10 years earlier.

After Jim makes a neighbor cry with a blunt remark at his backyard barbecue, Jim decides to reform and become the model of polite diplomacy.

During a ceremony to renew their wedding vows, Jim and Cheryl squabble because she allowed Gracie and Ruby to get their ears pierced.

When Jim and Cheryl preview a sex education video to be shown to children at Ruby's school, they discover that the boy in the video is Jim.

Jim learns that his neighbor (Julie Newmar) has written a series of children's books, modeling a grumpy old man on him.

When Dana, Cheryl's sister and best friend, moves away, Jim realizes he must find Cheryl a new friend as soon as possible.

On his birthday, Jim accuses Cheryl of habitually choosing gifts intended to change him instead of to please him.

Dana pretends to be Ruby's mother to attract the attention of a single father she met in the park.

Jim must decide between helping Cheryl through surgery or meeting his hero, Bo Diddley.

Jim does more harm than good when he stands up to Dana's boss; Andy has trouble making arrangements for his birthday party.

Jim and Cheryl's new friends turn out to be obnoxious, but they benefit from the relationship.

Cheryl's recently widowed mother (guest star Kathleen Noone) introduces her fiance to the family, drawing disapproval of the whirlwind romance.

The household is annoyed when Gracie adopts an abandoned bird.

When Cheryl gets sick, and Jim is forced to entertain a gaggle of little girls at Ruby's slumber party.

Jim starts to resent being Cheryl's errand boy; Andy thinks flashing his wedding ring around will make him a ``chick magnet.``.

An online bidding war reveals to Cheryl that Jim is spending money on memorabilia instead of a new dryer.

Jim panics when his son becomes a Green Bay Packers fan, and he tries to convert him to a Chicago Bears fan.

A successful guy that Jim went to high school with gives him a big contracting job and makes a pass at Cheryl over dinner.

Jim worries Cheryl will learn the truth about her engagement ring after she invites his old girlfriend (Crystal Bernard) to dinner.

Cheryl disapproves of Jim's latest invention, a flatulent doll named Gassy Gus. Andrea Walters, Ben Falcone, Andre Ware and Philip Daniel Bolden guest star.

Cheryl secretly plans a reunion between Jim and his estranged sister (Jennifer Coolidge) when the family takes a trip to Las Vegas.

Cheryl secretly plans a reunion between Jim and his estranged sister (Jennifer Coolidge) when the family takes a trip to Las Vegas.

Jim goes into protective overdrive after Cheryl is mugged while shopping.

Jim tells Ruby's teacher that his wife is illiterate in order to lighten his daughter's homework load.

With Cheryl on bed rest, Jim hosts Gracie's doll-themed party, turning the girly tea party into a wild squirt-gun fight.

Dana falls for a guy exactly like Jim but denies the similarities.

When Cheryl's friend gets expensive jewelry from her husband as gifts for no reason, Cheryl expects Jim to do the same; Jim finds these to be unreasonable requests and doubts the husband's intentions.

The irritating Devlins bid on the house across the street from Jim and Cheryl.

Jim institutes a tribunal system to stop the children from bickering, and it works well for solving the children's problems but backfires when he and Andy have an argument.

After Cheryl's cooking class choice proves to be a disaster, Jim gets to pick paintball as the next couple's activity.

Jim tries to convince Cheryl that it was her idea to turn the basement into a media room instead of a room for Gracie and Ruby, blaming her forgetfulness on pregnancy.

Cheryl caters to Jim's every whim to make up for a fight he does not remember from the night before.

Gracie and Ruby have nightmares after Jim takes them to a scary movie.

Dana puts her name on one of Cheryl's presents to Jim, then takes all the credit when he raves about it.

Cheryl gets stranded on the roof retrieving a tablecloth for Thanksgiving dinner, and no one notices her absence until she disables the television.

Jim uses Andy's gift certificate just before Andy remembers he has it and invites Jim to help him use it.

Jim invents an imaginary friend to avoid going to a couple's baby shower with Cheryl.

Jim encourages Gracie and Ruby to open a lemonade stand but does not anticipate fierce competition from a neighbor kid's stand.

Jim feels guilty after cheating at a church's fund-raising bingo game.